How Our Kids Really See Us

How Our Kids Really See Us
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A few years back, while my then nine-year-old son and I were scrolling through Facebook together, he saw a new profile picture I’d uploaded.

He asked, “Who is that?”

I responded, “Um…. it’s me.”

“Well,” he said, quite matter-of-factly, “I don’t like that picture.”

“You don’t?”


“Why not?”

He thought for a minute and said, “I like the pictures that show how you look on our farm.”

What he meant was how I normally look.

You know, when my hair isn’t done and I’m not wearing makeup and I’ve probably skipped my shower. When I’m wearing a hat or bandana on my head and there’s hay or mud or God knows what hanging off my clothes. And I’m sweaty. Kinda more like this:

How Our Kids Really See Us
You know, normal everyday me.

We continued scrolling through Facebook and checking out links and never talked anymore about my newly uploaded profile picture. But his comment got me thinking about how our kids see us.

We always want to put our best foot forward. We want to make sure people see us in the brightest, most ravishing light. We want them to catch us at our finest, when we said and did the right thing and looked pretty darn good while doing it.

But to our kids, that’s not us.

Well, that’s not the complete us. And we have to remember our kids see the all of us. The whole person. The total package. The person who drops stuff and swears when it breaks. The person who gets crabby and depressed. The person who yells for no reason. The person who didn’t get enough sleep the night before and looks like a truck ran them over. The person who makes mistakes. (Oh gosh, the mistakes they see.) Our kids see the person who is sick with the flu, who blows up about little stuff, who kicks the dog or freaks out at the cat…

And you know what? Despite all those ugly (but very real) things, our kids still love us. That is all part of the mom or dad that they know. That’s what they see.

As moms, we're so worried about looking our best...but what do your kids see? How Our Kids Really See Us - The Hmmmschooling Mom

My kids rarely see me looking like I do in my Facebook profile pictures. Here I sit trying to get things “just so” for a picture, and it’s so far from how my kids normally see me, they have to ask “Is that…(gasp) you?”

But it’s ok. Although it’s sometimes fun to get out of my barn clothes and do my hair and actually put on makeup, I know it’s not really how my kids see me. Because in the middle of the night when they are sick or have had a bad dream or need to discuss whatever is weighing on their mind…I’m a total mess. My jammies don’t match, my hair is all tangled and my face is only half awake.

But I’m there when they need me.

And that’s the mom they see.

That’s the mom they know. 🙂

Tired of the sugarcoated version of homeschooling? Read my book The Homeschool Highway: How to Navigate Your Way Without Getting Carsick.

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9 thoughts on “How Our Kids Really See Us”

  • Anytime I wear lipstick, my son walks up to be and repeats what he said to me the first time he ever saw me in lipstick: He points and says, "I don't like that stuff." *then he grins*

    He's 12 and still comments when I wear make up.

  • LOve this post.

    I haven't used much make up in 5+++ years since my son was about 2 y.o. A few months back, one Sunday, I put some eye liner on and a little lipstick ( rare occasion, I only wear chapstick nowadays) and after church when we got home, my son who is now 7 y.o. asked me, "Mom, why do you have that black stuff on your eyes?" So I told him it was make up, I was wearing to look good. "I don't like it. I prefer you normal.", he said.

    My daughter who is almost 10 y.o. asked me the other day, "Mom, why are you so worried about what we are wearing when we go out?" So I explained that it was important to look our best, that sometimes people could judge us badly if we were wearing dirty or damaged clothing. Her answer," But that is not important. What's important is what is on the inside. I don't care about what people wear."

    They see right through us, don't they? 🙂

  • Any time I actually ‘dress’ to leave the farm, my boys gape and say, “Mom, you look PRETTY.” I tend not to take it as a compliment, since it speaks to how they feel about me daily. Lol Chicken stuff and mud and a ponytail are my normal attire.
    And I love it.

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